Relaxing in Grace

I thought I was getting a handle on this "Surrender" thing...

Carolyn and I made a decision to have a "Natural Birth" for our first child.  In the very beginning of this decision, I was not a big fan of it, as I always thought this was something "those people" did.  Carolyn was really behind it, and once getting educated on it, and going through a Bradley Method Birthing Class, I realized that this is how God made the process to work.

Now, that's all well and good, but I still didn't know what all that meant, and as we began nearing D-day, I continued to "Surrender" to all the scheduling and planning going on for this new little being to enter the world. It wasn't until today at Church when our Pastor spoke of how sometimes God answers with "No" or "Not Yet" that I began to understand that you cannot put "Surrender" and "scheduling and planning" in the same sentence.  Don't get me wrong, I am all about intention, and I am recognizing that what I think is the best plan, may not always be the case.

This term "Totally Surrendered" has been at the end of every one of my emails since this camp began, and it has taken the most recent events in my life to fully get what that means.  You see, we had a "due date" (by the way, those don't really mean what they sound like) of 8/15/11 for this baby to arrive, and I even had all camp members, family, friends, etc. praying and holding intention that this little baby boy would arrive healthy and safely on or before 8/15/11.  So I just "Surrendered" to that and believed it would "just be".  However, here we are 8/21/11, and my wife is very much still pregnant.  And for the first time in 9 months, that's ok.

I am a Promoter by default, and when it's up to me, I prefer to "make everyone happy", hoping I'll make me happy in the process.  So when it began getting close to the start of camp this week as a Team Leader, and that I would be letting all of those at Camp 22, and of course my students I have been putting so much time and effort into down, naturally, I began to get into my stuff.  The great news is, everyone I just mentioned in the last sentence are amazing individuals, and at this time in my life when I can truly understand Surrender and actually "ask for support", you're all there!

In short, it is Sunday before Camp 22 this week, and we have not been blessed with a baby yet.  There are some scenarios for me to still contribute to First Weekend, it just doesn't get to look the way I thought it would, which I have now come to terms with.  So I may see you all in person at some point in the next 8 days, and I may not, and I'm grateful for both!!  I do not understand the perspective and knowledge that God does, and I truly believe this will work out exactly as it is supposed to for everyone involved.

I love you and trust in all of you, as well as in God, that the outcome is the best it could ever be!!  I'll also be happy to note my percentage still grows below, determining that all of this is a tremendous gift!!!

Goal % to date:  145%!!!