I will be continuing this blog as an update journal to all following and holding me accountable to my Senior Staff Goal for Sam Camp 24. My Goal is: On or before 12pm, July 31, 2012 Arizona time, I weigh 180lbs or less.
Results this week:
I weigh the exact same as last week 189
Most other measurements were up too - Water, BMI, Muscle, Body Fat
All my clothes fit much looser however
Gaining a lot more energy
Discouraged that the scale isn't moving, and had a little self-sabatoge this weekend that I will be clearing with the team
Workout this week (and fairly consistent over the past 3 weeks, just progressively pushing it harder):
Monday - Kickboxing - Kicked my ass
Tuesday - Gym - total body, 2 sets per exercise, 30 second rests, at least 10 reps per set, 10 exercises plus a four exercise ab workout
Wednesday - Ran 2.55 miles, avg 9min 20 sec per mile
Thursday - Kickboxing - Kicked my ass
Friday - Rest
Saturday - 300 Workout - 50 pullups, 50 135lb dead lifts, 50 push ups, 50 floor wipers, 50 clean and press, 50 box jumps = 300 reps
Sunday - New Parent Hike carrying Weston - 3 miles
Multiple long walks with Carolyn and Weston this week
Hitting it harder next week
Foods I am having:
Eggs - switching to egg yolks this week
Beans - removing this week
Vegetables/salads - containing healthy homemade vinaigrette's
Protein Shakes
Chicken/Beef/Fish - mostly chicken
Almonds/Peanuts - occasional Peanut or Almond Butter
Water/Soda Water
Fiber Drink
Cottage Cheese/Occasional Plain Greek Yogurt
Camano Island Coffee - top 1% of coffee, organic, shade grown, etc., very good for you - in some cases better than tea
Foods I am successfully avoiding:
Beer - I know some of you may not consider this a food, but I do. (I did have 1 glass of wine this week, other than that, no alcohol) - this week I did have 3 and a few vodka sodas
Breads
Soda Drinks of course
Sugar or candy
Obviously any fast food
Pastas/Pizzas/etc./etc.
Anything not listed in the 'Foods I'm having' List
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Relaxing in Grace
I thought I was getting a handle on this "Surrender" thing...
Carolyn and I made a decision to have a "Natural Birth" for our first child. In the very beginning of this decision, I was not a big fan of it, as I always thought this was something "those people" did. Carolyn was really behind it, and once getting educated on it, and going through a Bradley Method Birthing Class, I realized that this is how God made the process to work.
Now, that's all well and good, but I still didn't know what all that meant, and as we began nearing D-day, I continued to "Surrender" to all the scheduling and planning going on for this new little being to enter the world. It wasn't until today at Church when our Pastor spoke of how sometimes God answers with "No" or "Not Yet" that I began to understand that you cannot put "Surrender" and "scheduling and planning" in the same sentence. Don't get me wrong, I am all about intention, and I am recognizing that what I think is the best plan, may not always be the case.
This term "Totally Surrendered" has been at the end of every one of my emails since this camp began, and it has taken the most recent events in my life to fully get what that means. You see, we had a "due date" (by the way, those don't really mean what they sound like) of 8/15/11 for this baby to arrive, and I even had all camp members, family, friends, etc. praying and holding intention that this little baby boy would arrive healthy and safely on or before 8/15/11. So I just "Surrendered" to that and believed it would "just be". However, here we are 8/21/11, and my wife is very much still pregnant. And for the first time in 9 months, that's ok.
I am a Promoter by default, and when it's up to me, I prefer to "make everyone happy", hoping I'll make me happy in the process. So when it began getting close to the start of camp this week as a Team Leader, and that I would be letting all of those at Camp 22, and of course my students I have been putting so much time and effort into down, naturally, I began to get into my stuff. The great news is, everyone I just mentioned in the last sentence are amazing individuals, and at this time in my life when I can truly understand Surrender and actually "ask for support", you're all there!
In short, it is Sunday before Camp 22 this week, and we have not been blessed with a baby yet. There are some scenarios for me to still contribute to First Weekend, it just doesn't get to look the way I thought it would, which I have now come to terms with. So I may see you all in person at some point in the next 8 days, and I may not, and I'm grateful for both!! I do not understand the perspective and knowledge that God does, and I truly believe this will work out exactly as it is supposed to for everyone involved.
I love you and trust in all of you, as well as in God, that the outcome is the best it could ever be!! I'll also be happy to note my percentage still grows below, determining that all of this is a tremendous gift!!!
Goal % to date: 145%!!!
Carolyn and I made a decision to have a "Natural Birth" for our first child. In the very beginning of this decision, I was not a big fan of it, as I always thought this was something "those people" did. Carolyn was really behind it, and once getting educated on it, and going through a Bradley Method Birthing Class, I realized that this is how God made the process to work.
Now, that's all well and good, but I still didn't know what all that meant, and as we began nearing D-day, I continued to "Surrender" to all the scheduling and planning going on for this new little being to enter the world. It wasn't until today at Church when our Pastor spoke of how sometimes God answers with "No" or "Not Yet" that I began to understand that you cannot put "Surrender" and "scheduling and planning" in the same sentence. Don't get me wrong, I am all about intention, and I am recognizing that what I think is the best plan, may not always be the case.
This term "Totally Surrendered" has been at the end of every one of my emails since this camp began, and it has taken the most recent events in my life to fully get what that means. You see, we had a "due date" (by the way, those don't really mean what they sound like) of 8/15/11 for this baby to arrive, and I even had all camp members, family, friends, etc. praying and holding intention that this little baby boy would arrive healthy and safely on or before 8/15/11. So I just "Surrendered" to that and believed it would "just be". However, here we are 8/21/11, and my wife is very much still pregnant. And for the first time in 9 months, that's ok.
I am a Promoter by default, and when it's up to me, I prefer to "make everyone happy", hoping I'll make me happy in the process. So when it began getting close to the start of camp this week as a Team Leader, and that I would be letting all of those at Camp 22, and of course my students I have been putting so much time and effort into down, naturally, I began to get into my stuff. The great news is, everyone I just mentioned in the last sentence are amazing individuals, and at this time in my life when I can truly understand Surrender and actually "ask for support", you're all there!
In short, it is Sunday before Camp 22 this week, and we have not been blessed with a baby yet. There are some scenarios for me to still contribute to First Weekend, it just doesn't get to look the way I thought it would, which I have now come to terms with. So I may see you all in person at some point in the next 8 days, and I may not, and I'm grateful for both!! I do not understand the perspective and knowledge that God does, and I truly believe this will work out exactly as it is supposed to for everyone involved.
I love you and trust in all of you, as well as in God, that the outcome is the best it could ever be!! I'll also be happy to note my percentage still grows below, determining that all of this is a tremendous gift!!!
Goal % to date: 145%!!!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
100% and not Complete!
I am so happy to say that I reached my goal early of 75 hours or more, on or before August 24th, 2011!!! At the same time, I am even more happy to have realized that it is not about my goal, it was about the journey, and how I could turn a "goal" into a lifestyle! Therefore, I will not ever be complete on self-honoring as this is a beingness I choose to adapt constantly!
Let me explain that a little. What I learned in the last 76 hours of Self-honoring, was that I now cannot wait to see what the next 76 hours will be like! And realizing that reaching another milestone of another 76 hours in my life, doesn't even require logging the hours in a spreadsheet, or blogging on it. It just requires "being" self-honoring! Now, can those mechanisms help me to remain focused, and stay in self-honoring, for sure. However, having this awareness changes everything, and shows me I can be "present" in any given situation.
In other words, the goal was all about learning how to make that shift into being self-honoring, not really about the goal itself. So taking the time and effort to put my myself in focus, was just a way to create a habit of awareness. I now see that any "beingness" I would like more of in my life, if I just set out a mechanism to shift my focus into that beingness, I will begin to automatically "be" that, and will create a habit of awareness to "be" there in the blink of an eye, if so desired.
Also, I realized that "Self-honoring" is just an adjective, of where I really desire to be, which is "Authentically Present". Don't get me wrong, it's a great adjective, and great place to be, and I believe it itself to be a mechanism to where I want to be, and remain. See, being Authentically Present for me is choosing to be "HERE" when I would typically choose to take a mental vacation, or maybe even go numb. And the alternative is generally self-destructive, of course.
E.g., I did not have a lot of free time in my schedule today, and wanted to connect with my mom, sister, and brother. However, I made time, and a great example of what I'm getting at is my conversation with my Mother. I can easily find myself kicking myself for not creating more time to see my mom, and family - "I can't believe it Brett, you purchased a plane for many reasons, and one big one was to see your family more, and you are totally missing out". Then I would typically take that energy, call up that family member, and not be present at all, just be beating myself up and either telling them about it, or trying to hide it. But today was different - I chose to call my family, and great example was with my mom, where I decided that even for these few moments, I was going to be Authentically Present, and remember this call, no matter what we discussed. That awareness is what I have really been after!!!!!
I will continue to blog, and to update with % complete!
79.84 hours to date = 106% Great Feeling!!
Let me explain that a little. What I learned in the last 76 hours of Self-honoring, was that I now cannot wait to see what the next 76 hours will be like! And realizing that reaching another milestone of another 76 hours in my life, doesn't even require logging the hours in a spreadsheet, or blogging on it. It just requires "being" self-honoring! Now, can those mechanisms help me to remain focused, and stay in self-honoring, for sure. However, having this awareness changes everything, and shows me I can be "present" in any given situation.
In other words, the goal was all about learning how to make that shift into being self-honoring, not really about the goal itself. So taking the time and effort to put my myself in focus, was just a way to create a habit of awareness. I now see that any "beingness" I would like more of in my life, if I just set out a mechanism to shift my focus into that beingness, I will begin to automatically "be" that, and will create a habit of awareness to "be" there in the blink of an eye, if so desired.
Also, I realized that "Self-honoring" is just an adjective, of where I really desire to be, which is "Authentically Present". Don't get me wrong, it's a great adjective, and great place to be, and I believe it itself to be a mechanism to where I want to be, and remain. See, being Authentically Present for me is choosing to be "HERE" when I would typically choose to take a mental vacation, or maybe even go numb. And the alternative is generally self-destructive, of course.
E.g., I did not have a lot of free time in my schedule today, and wanted to connect with my mom, sister, and brother. However, I made time, and a great example of what I'm getting at is my conversation with my Mother. I can easily find myself kicking myself for not creating more time to see my mom, and family - "I can't believe it Brett, you purchased a plane for many reasons, and one big one was to see your family more, and you are totally missing out". Then I would typically take that energy, call up that family member, and not be present at all, just be beating myself up and either telling them about it, or trying to hide it. But today was different - I chose to call my family, and great example was with my mom, where I decided that even for these few moments, I was going to be Authentically Present, and remember this call, no matter what we discussed. That awareness is what I have really been after!!!!!
I will continue to blog, and to update with % complete!
79.84 hours to date = 106% Great Feeling!!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Serving
Wow, I have been getting some amazing insights and revelations from our church lately!! I was inspired to do another update to my blog immediately.
For starters, 2 weeks ago, a young contributing-heart-filled 9 year old girl from our church was killed in a car accident. I did not have the pleasure of knowing this girl Rachel Beckwith, and have come to realize I missed out on that. She was the light of the room I understand, always helping and serving others, as well as going out of her way to make other children at our church feel right at home. She was a true servant of God.
One of the most amazing things about Rachel was where her heart was at. She had decided to give up her birthday, and the presents that would come from it, and utilize a tool that www.charitywater.org offers to run a campaign asking all those who would give her a gift, to give the money to this organization that goes directly towards bringing clean water to those in need around the world. Her goal was $300, and she missed that by $80, totaling $220. The campaign was closed on her birthday. However, a few weeks after that, she was in a car accident, that had her on life support for several days, then finally she went to be with the Lord. Her family had shared with our church how deeply the campaign meant to her, and both Eastlake Community Church and Charity: Water decided to re-open her campaign, and put it out to the world, while she was still on life support. In less than 2 short weeks the account has risen from $220 to $726,000 and growing!!! Her sacrifice is helping so many people around the world, and by living "backwards" or with the end in mind, her legacy is changing lives forever.
Click here to check out Rachel's Charity: Water campaign page. It truly is inspiring!
Now that's a ripple effect, and it caused me to ask myself, how big of a ripple am I leaving??
Much of this has had me doing some soul searching, and re-evaluation on my purpose and goal. My Purpose is: "To be an abundant contributor of love, and fulfill the needs of all possible". At times lately, I have been thinking very selfishly, even to a point yesterday where I was actually thinking "why isn't somebody entertaining me?" The gall, right??
Today's message at church hit me square between the eyes and helped me to remember my God Given Purpose, and the blessings that come from Being in that Purpose.
At my Camp, Sam Camp 20, I achieved my goal of getting a signed contract with the company I do business with in excess of $250,000. When I was asked what supported me in achieving my goal, I realized that when I began focusing on everyone else's goal in camp, and how to help them over the wall, my goal just happened. This statement had not really impacted me until recently when starting our goals up here in Camp 22, and while speaking to some of the other Team Leads. I now realize that when I am in my purpose, and when we are all serving each other, God is there and he abundantly blesses that!
I have just uncovered how to live my life!! When I don't know why things aren't going "my way", and I negative feelings etc are coming up for me, I will just ask myself "where did I serve today, and where am I going to serve?" This question automatically takes a weight off my shoulders, as I know I am choosing to trust God when I feel the loneliest and uncertain of the future.
Lastly, our congregation was given a "Spirituality Litmus Test" in the message today, being asked: "Does your study of the Bible lead you to arrogance or action?" In other words, when I gain knowledge, or feel I "know" something, am I turning that into action, or am I finding a way to use it to "be right"??
So now I ask you. Are you using the information God is bringing into your life to "know more" or "be right"? Or are you taking all that you know, and putting it into action?
How can your life be different this week? I know how mine can, and I am choosing it!!
Total Hours to date: 59.84 - 80% Complete on my goal!!!
P.S. - I will be 100% and more on my 75 hour goal on or before August 24, 2011 at 11pm AZ time. However, I pray to never be complete on applying the concepts I have learned in this process, to eternity!
For starters, 2 weeks ago, a young contributing-heart-filled 9 year old girl from our church was killed in a car accident. I did not have the pleasure of knowing this girl Rachel Beckwith, and have come to realize I missed out on that. She was the light of the room I understand, always helping and serving others, as well as going out of her way to make other children at our church feel right at home. She was a true servant of God.
One of the most amazing things about Rachel was where her heart was at. She had decided to give up her birthday, and the presents that would come from it, and utilize a tool that www.charitywater.org offers to run a campaign asking all those who would give her a gift, to give the money to this organization that goes directly towards bringing clean water to those in need around the world. Her goal was $300, and she missed that by $80, totaling $220. The campaign was closed on her birthday. However, a few weeks after that, she was in a car accident, that had her on life support for several days, then finally she went to be with the Lord. Her family had shared with our church how deeply the campaign meant to her, and both Eastlake Community Church and Charity: Water decided to re-open her campaign, and put it out to the world, while she was still on life support. In less than 2 short weeks the account has risen from $220 to $726,000 and growing!!! Her sacrifice is helping so many people around the world, and by living "backwards" or with the end in mind, her legacy is changing lives forever.
Click here to check out Rachel's Charity: Water campaign page. It truly is inspiring!
Now that's a ripple effect, and it caused me to ask myself, how big of a ripple am I leaving??
Much of this has had me doing some soul searching, and re-evaluation on my purpose and goal. My Purpose is: "To be an abundant contributor of love, and fulfill the needs of all possible". At times lately, I have been thinking very selfishly, even to a point yesterday where I was actually thinking "why isn't somebody entertaining me?" The gall, right??
Today's message at church hit me square between the eyes and helped me to remember my God Given Purpose, and the blessings that come from Being in that Purpose.
At my Camp, Sam Camp 20, I achieved my goal of getting a signed contract with the company I do business with in excess of $250,000. When I was asked what supported me in achieving my goal, I realized that when I began focusing on everyone else's goal in camp, and how to help them over the wall, my goal just happened. This statement had not really impacted me until recently when starting our goals up here in Camp 22, and while speaking to some of the other Team Leads. I now realize that when I am in my purpose, and when we are all serving each other, God is there and he abundantly blesses that!
I have just uncovered how to live my life!! When I don't know why things aren't going "my way", and I negative feelings etc are coming up for me, I will just ask myself "where did I serve today, and where am I going to serve?" This question automatically takes a weight off my shoulders, as I know I am choosing to trust God when I feel the loneliest and uncertain of the future.
Lastly, our congregation was given a "Spirituality Litmus Test" in the message today, being asked: "Does your study of the Bible lead you to arrogance or action?" In other words, when I gain knowledge, or feel I "know" something, am I turning that into action, or am I finding a way to use it to "be right"??
So now I ask you. Are you using the information God is bringing into your life to "know more" or "be right"? Or are you taking all that you know, and putting it into action?
How can your life be different this week? I know how mine can, and I am choosing it!!
Total Hours to date: 59.84 - 80% Complete on my goal!!!
P.S. - I will be 100% and more on my 75 hour goal on or before August 24, 2011 at 11pm AZ time. However, I pray to never be complete on applying the concepts I have learned in this process, to eternity!
Friday, July 29, 2011
You're probably wondering what that title is doing there. Well I have been realizing lately that this word "No" doesn't get used by me very much. This happens for two reasons:
1.) I find that I am typically a people pleaser, and telling someone "sorry I'm not doing that" tends to feel like a heart to the dagger when I'm putting myself in their shoes.
2.) I tend to think that I may be "missing out on something" if I don't do something or go somewhere that someone is asking me to.
What usually happens is I will a.) go or do something maybe even thinking it "could be" self-honoring, but most importantly because I was asked, and end up piling too much into a time period because of all the requests; b.) go or do something because if I don't I will "miss out", when typically in hind-sight that's not the case; c.) go or do something when I may have committed to something prior, and end up letting down those closest to me; or d.) I remain soooo optimistic that I will be able to go or do something, full well knowing that it probably won't happen with my schedule, then end up letting someone down last minute.
So, how do I address this "No" thing? It doesn't support me in self-honoring by saying "Yes" to everything. It doesn't support me in what I say I want in creating a life which is wealthy and abundant in family, success and friendship. So, how can it look?
Please take a minute to read this passage in The Greatest Networker in the World - by John Milton Fogg to understand what it is I really want:
“Every day’s a horse show day – in the Spring,” he said. “I thought today
was clear. I’ll have to check my Commitment Book. I know we have an
appointment for dinner,” he added.
“Commitment Book?” I asked.
“Like an appointment book,” he answered.
“You make appointments with your family?” The idea of that fascinated me.
“Yup,” he answered, “with Rachel and the kids, too.”
“Ah . . . ” I asked hesitatingly, “would you tell me about that?”
“Sure. What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well, it seems strange to make appointments with your own family,” I said.
“That’s a nice opinion,” he said. Then he repeated, “So, what did you want
to know?”
“Well, ah . . . it seems a little cold – doesn’t it?”
“Not to me,” he answered. “It works for us. I make business appointments
and I make family appointments. Making them helps me keep them. They’re
my commitments.”
“But,” I said, “doesn’t that take the spontaneity out of things?”
“Just the opposite,” he said. “That’s one way I make certain I have the time
for being spontaneous.” He noted my puzzled look. “Let me explain.
“There was a time when my family took second place to my work. Truth is,
far-distant second. I love working. There’s nothing in this world I’d rather
do. And because of that, I was putting my family second. I’d get to them
when it was convenient – when there was ‘free time’ after my business was
completed.
“Well, at one point I noticed there never was any ‘free time.’ Every time
some space would show up, so would something to fill it. I had my life all
scheduled and no time for them – and no time for myself, for that matter
“So I asked, what’s missing? What did I need to do to make the time I
wanted to be with my family, and to do the things I wanted to do for
myself, as well?
“Two things were missing,” he said, “and the first was simple: making a
commitment and keeping it. I knew I could do that. I was making business
commitments – and keeping darn near every one of those. It seemed a
simple matter to me – not necessarily easy, but simple. If I could do that
with my business, there was no reason I couldn’t do it with every other area
of my life.
“So, I started making appointments for specific times to be with Rachel and
the kids. I told them what I was doing and why, and they agreed to help me
keep the appointments I made with them, because we all saw them as
commitments now – not just appointments.
“I made dates with Rachel – dinner dates, dates to watch videos after the
kids went to sleep, we even scheduled a couple of weekend seminars at
local hotels. I’ll let you figure out what the subject matter was.
“Rachel and I scheduled 30 minutes every day at 9:00 in the morning to
talk with each other about what was happening in our work and lives. When
either of us was traveling, we did that over the phone.
“I made appointments with Bobby, too. I hired him as my ‘Fun Coach,’
because I saw that fun was missing as well – you know, ‘All work and no
play . . . ’ Bobby’d take me out and play ball – which is how I became a teeball coach, by the way. We’d go for walks, have adventures. I just let him be the coach and show me what to do.
“Rebecca was a bit more difficult at first. Her only suggestion – outside of
horses – was to have me go shopping with her. Dad as wallet. I’d already
mastered that one, so we stuck with horses.
“I hadn’t ridden in, gee . . . ” he closed his eyes, thinking, “ . . . in almost
20 years. And then only in a Western saddle. She taught me English-style
riding. She taught me to jump, too. It’s great. She’s a wonderful teacher,
and now, I have two lessons a week with her. Dad as student, client and
paying customer.
“The question of ‘cold’ or ‘spontaneous’ never occurs to me. What’s
important is, does this way of doing things empower me and empower my
family? It has – for years. So, I conclude – it works. It may not work for
you.” -The Greatest Networker in the World - by John Milton Fogg
This passage describes what I would like to achieve. I recently had a huge realization that I am not only "over-committed", but that I am also generally not enjoying the "over-commitments" while in them, and saying "Yes" to everything was creating this vicious cycle. This realization even revealed a new layer of the onion in that I thought I was "Self-honoring" (which I was, to my "then" knowledge), however, I was still choosing distraction during time I would commit to, and was not totally surrendering (last blog) to the moment, and being present. For instance, if I was to have some friends drop by, my immediate thought of "Self-honoring" was: "I got the beers, everyone jump into your suits and lets head to the hot tub!" In so many cases I was thinking that "Self-honoring" was simply "Not Working", and that meant "Party". What I realized I was actually doing was choosing distraction, just like I had been doing with work. Don't get me wrong, not that it wasn't fun, it was just not creating what I say I want, in each of these instances. However, I wasn't taking time to really "be with" myself or others.
So, my new commitment is to do just that. I will not be counting hours from here on out unless they are hours I spend completely present in that moment, and not choosing distraction. I realize that I am the judge in all this, and I think that makes it all the better, because if I cannot judge this accurately during this goal, then I never will be able.
The summary of this is, I will be going with "No" much more frequently in the efforts of Self-honoring, rather than yes coupled with over-commitment!
Total Time to date: 55.34 hours - 74% of my goal!!
1.) I find that I am typically a people pleaser, and telling someone "sorry I'm not doing that" tends to feel like a heart to the dagger when I'm putting myself in their shoes.
2.) I tend to think that I may be "missing out on something" if I don't do something or go somewhere that someone is asking me to.
What usually happens is I will a.) go or do something maybe even thinking it "could be" self-honoring, but most importantly because I was asked, and end up piling too much into a time period because of all the requests; b.) go or do something because if I don't I will "miss out", when typically in hind-sight that's not the case; c.) go or do something when I may have committed to something prior, and end up letting down those closest to me; or d.) I remain soooo optimistic that I will be able to go or do something, full well knowing that it probably won't happen with my schedule, then end up letting someone down last minute.
So, how do I address this "No" thing? It doesn't support me in self-honoring by saying "Yes" to everything. It doesn't support me in what I say I want in creating a life which is wealthy and abundant in family, success and friendship. So, how can it look?
Please take a minute to read this passage in The Greatest Networker in the World - by John Milton Fogg to understand what it is I really want:
“Every day’s a horse show day – in the Spring,” he said. “I thought today
was clear. I’ll have to check my Commitment Book. I know we have an
appointment for dinner,” he added.
“Commitment Book?” I asked.
“Like an appointment book,” he answered.
“You make appointments with your family?” The idea of that fascinated me.
“Yup,” he answered, “with Rachel and the kids, too.”
“Ah . . . ” I asked hesitatingly, “would you tell me about that?”
“Sure. What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well, it seems strange to make appointments with your own family,” I said.
“That’s a nice opinion,” he said. Then he repeated, “So, what did you want
to know?”
“Well, ah . . . it seems a little cold – doesn’t it?”
“Not to me,” he answered. “It works for us. I make business appointments
and I make family appointments. Making them helps me keep them. They’re
my commitments.”
“But,” I said, “doesn’t that take the spontaneity out of things?”
“Just the opposite,” he said. “That’s one way I make certain I have the time
for being spontaneous.” He noted my puzzled look. “Let me explain.
“There was a time when my family took second place to my work. Truth is,
far-distant second. I love working. There’s nothing in this world I’d rather
do. And because of that, I was putting my family second. I’d get to them
when it was convenient – when there was ‘free time’ after my business was
completed.
“Well, at one point I noticed there never was any ‘free time.’ Every time
some space would show up, so would something to fill it. I had my life all
scheduled and no time for them – and no time for myself, for that matter
“So I asked, what’s missing? What did I need to do to make the time I
wanted to be with my family, and to do the things I wanted to do for
myself, as well?
“Two things were missing,” he said, “and the first was simple: making a
commitment and keeping it. I knew I could do that. I was making business
commitments – and keeping darn near every one of those. It seemed a
simple matter to me – not necessarily easy, but simple. If I could do that
with my business, there was no reason I couldn’t do it with every other area
of my life.
“So, I started making appointments for specific times to be with Rachel and
the kids. I told them what I was doing and why, and they agreed to help me
keep the appointments I made with them, because we all saw them as
commitments now – not just appointments.
“I made dates with Rachel – dinner dates, dates to watch videos after the
kids went to sleep, we even scheduled a couple of weekend seminars at
local hotels. I’ll let you figure out what the subject matter was.
“Rachel and I scheduled 30 minutes every day at 9:00 in the morning to
talk with each other about what was happening in our work and lives. When
either of us was traveling, we did that over the phone.
“I made appointments with Bobby, too. I hired him as my ‘Fun Coach,’
because I saw that fun was missing as well – you know, ‘All work and no
play . . . ’ Bobby’d take me out and play ball – which is how I became a teeball coach, by the way. We’d go for walks, have adventures. I just let him be the coach and show me what to do.
“Rebecca was a bit more difficult at first. Her only suggestion – outside of
horses – was to have me go shopping with her. Dad as wallet. I’d already
mastered that one, so we stuck with horses.
“I hadn’t ridden in, gee . . . ” he closed his eyes, thinking, “ . . . in almost
20 years. And then only in a Western saddle. She taught me English-style
riding. She taught me to jump, too. It’s great. She’s a wonderful teacher,
and now, I have two lessons a week with her. Dad as student, client and
paying customer.
“The question of ‘cold’ or ‘spontaneous’ never occurs to me. What’s
important is, does this way of doing things empower me and empower my
family? It has – for years. So, I conclude – it works. It may not work for
you.” -The Greatest Networker in the World - by John Milton Fogg
This passage describes what I would like to achieve. I recently had a huge realization that I am not only "over-committed", but that I am also generally not enjoying the "over-commitments" while in them, and saying "Yes" to everything was creating this vicious cycle. This realization even revealed a new layer of the onion in that I thought I was "Self-honoring" (which I was, to my "then" knowledge), however, I was still choosing distraction during time I would commit to, and was not totally surrendering (last blog) to the moment, and being present. For instance, if I was to have some friends drop by, my immediate thought of "Self-honoring" was: "I got the beers, everyone jump into your suits and lets head to the hot tub!" In so many cases I was thinking that "Self-honoring" was simply "Not Working", and that meant "Party". What I realized I was actually doing was choosing distraction, just like I had been doing with work. Don't get me wrong, not that it wasn't fun, it was just not creating what I say I want, in each of these instances. However, I wasn't taking time to really "be with" myself or others.
So, my new commitment is to do just that. I will not be counting hours from here on out unless they are hours I spend completely present in that moment, and not choosing distraction. I realize that I am the judge in all this, and I think that makes it all the better, because if I cannot judge this accurately during this goal, then I never will be able.
The summary of this is, I will be going with "No" much more frequently in the efforts of Self-honoring, rather than yes coupled with over-commitment!
Total Time to date: 55.34 hours - 74% of my goal!!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Surrender = Self-Honoring
If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me. - Matthew 10:39
The realization I have had this week, is one that has puzzled me for so long. "How do I 'Self-honor' when this life is not about me, it's about others"? Today's blog is how I came to a great understanding on just that.
This week at our Church, the message seemed to be directed only at me. Have you ever been there? Well the message was referencing the story of Abraham going to the Region of Moriah, to sacrifice his son Isaac, in Genesis 22:1-5. The passage starts out stating that God "tested" Abraham. God had made many promises to Abraham, and now he was testing him, to then fulfill those promises. The passage then describes God telling Abraham to take his son to the "Region" of Moriah. God never lays out the exact road, nor the exact destination for you to follow and arrive at, even when he knows the answer. God then told Abraham to sacrifice something that was very dear to him, his only son, on a mountain - and Abraham told the servants that were with him "We are going up the mountain to 'worship', then we will return to you".
Our Pastor did an amazing job of laying all this out to look at, I am simply writing all of my realizations on it, and the impacts it is having on my life. I have, as many of us have, been tested in my life. And it's when I am tested, my first reaction is to "take control". I see the test as something "I" am going through, and God wants to see how "I" can get through it. All the while I totally miss that he wants me to rely on Him, to trust Him, and that requires Total Surrender.
In recent months, I have felt very tested, and continued to search for what God's plan is, so "I can follow it". As is stated in this passage, God told Abraham to go to the "Region" of Moriah. It turns out this is a very large "Region", and there are actually 7 mountains there! Abraham, in obedience, began walking toward that "Region" the very next morning. I will typically investigate all of what that could mean, so that I know which road in that direction, which mountain for sure, and what the travels will be like.
What hit me hardest though, was when Abraham told his servants that they were going atop the mountain to "Worship", and would return to them. Why on earth would Abraham choose those words? Why is this ultimate sacrifice a form of "Worship"? I believe, it can only be for one reason: that no matter the outcome, Abraham completely trusted, and was totally surrendered to God. He knew that God would provide, and later in the story he did by having a Ram show up and get stuck in a thicket to be sacrificed instead. Our Pastor reminded us that this was a true early symbol that God would not ask what many other religions were asking, for human sacrifice especially of ones own child, and then prove his ultimate love and sacrifice by doing just that, by sending Jesus - his only son.
So why am I describing all of this, and what does it have to do with Self-honoring? Everything!! This journey of Self-honoring is teaching me that Self-honoring is not "selfish", in fact, it's the exact opposite. I mentioned Matthew 10:39 to begin this blog, pointing out that it is NOT about Me, and, it is about God and me! The realization is that Self-honoring is Surrender! It is a lifestyle!! It is about choosing to whole heartedly trust in God, and he will provide, and stressing, over-committing, over working to create more (even if you plan to do great things with the "more") is all selfish, and all about being in control.
I recognize now that God wants me to Surrender to Him, trust Him, follow Him, which is to Worship Him! I had so many misconceptions and programs about what all those terms meant, until this week.
I always just took faith at a faith level, "just accept it". I never took the time to understand why I have faith. I know now that God wants me to Self-honor, and trust him, to know that I understand an ultimate test is when you give up what you believe is most important - and I was believing that creating abundance of money, to do great things is not what is MOST important, trusting Him regardless IS.
I could not possibly see how running 5 projects as a Project Manager, starting a new company, running another company, joining the board of an NPO, and devoting time to my wife, as well as preparing to bring a child into the world in a few weeks, could make any sense to choose into a "Self-honoring" goal. Now I Totally can!!
Total to-date: 35.09 hrs
The realization I have had this week, is one that has puzzled me for so long. "How do I 'Self-honor' when this life is not about me, it's about others"? Today's blog is how I came to a great understanding on just that.
This week at our Church, the message seemed to be directed only at me. Have you ever been there? Well the message was referencing the story of Abraham going to the Region of Moriah, to sacrifice his son Isaac, in Genesis 22:1-5. The passage starts out stating that God "tested" Abraham. God had made many promises to Abraham, and now he was testing him, to then fulfill those promises. The passage then describes God telling Abraham to take his son to the "Region" of Moriah. God never lays out the exact road, nor the exact destination for you to follow and arrive at, even when he knows the answer. God then told Abraham to sacrifice something that was very dear to him, his only son, on a mountain - and Abraham told the servants that were with him "We are going up the mountain to 'worship', then we will return to you".
Our Pastor did an amazing job of laying all this out to look at, I am simply writing all of my realizations on it, and the impacts it is having on my life. I have, as many of us have, been tested in my life. And it's when I am tested, my first reaction is to "take control". I see the test as something "I" am going through, and God wants to see how "I" can get through it. All the while I totally miss that he wants me to rely on Him, to trust Him, and that requires Total Surrender.
In recent months, I have felt very tested, and continued to search for what God's plan is, so "I can follow it". As is stated in this passage, God told Abraham to go to the "Region" of Moriah. It turns out this is a very large "Region", and there are actually 7 mountains there! Abraham, in obedience, began walking toward that "Region" the very next morning. I will typically investigate all of what that could mean, so that I know which road in that direction, which mountain for sure, and what the travels will be like.
What hit me hardest though, was when Abraham told his servants that they were going atop the mountain to "Worship", and would return to them. Why on earth would Abraham choose those words? Why is this ultimate sacrifice a form of "Worship"? I believe, it can only be for one reason: that no matter the outcome, Abraham completely trusted, and was totally surrendered to God. He knew that God would provide, and later in the story he did by having a Ram show up and get stuck in a thicket to be sacrificed instead. Our Pastor reminded us that this was a true early symbol that God would not ask what many other religions were asking, for human sacrifice especially of ones own child, and then prove his ultimate love and sacrifice by doing just that, by sending Jesus - his only son.
So why am I describing all of this, and what does it have to do with Self-honoring? Everything!! This journey of Self-honoring is teaching me that Self-honoring is not "selfish", in fact, it's the exact opposite. I mentioned Matthew 10:39 to begin this blog, pointing out that it is NOT about Me, and, it is about God and me! The realization is that Self-honoring is Surrender! It is a lifestyle!! It is about choosing to whole heartedly trust in God, and he will provide, and stressing, over-committing, over working to create more (even if you plan to do great things with the "more") is all selfish, and all about being in control.
I recognize now that God wants me to Surrender to Him, trust Him, follow Him, which is to Worship Him! I had so many misconceptions and programs about what all those terms meant, until this week.
I always just took faith at a faith level, "just accept it". I never took the time to understand why I have faith. I know now that God wants me to Self-honor, and trust him, to know that I understand an ultimate test is when you give up what you believe is most important - and I was believing that creating abundance of money, to do great things is not what is MOST important, trusting Him regardless IS.
I could not possibly see how running 5 projects as a Project Manager, starting a new company, running another company, joining the board of an NPO, and devoting time to my wife, as well as preparing to bring a child into the world in a few weeks, could make any sense to choose into a "Self-honoring" goal. Now I Totally can!!
Total to-date: 35.09 hrs
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Well I thought that was going to be Self-honoring??
This week was great, and I also had a wake up call. The week was riddled with Self-honoring time, and some were simple, and some were pretty big. Having friends in town was a total treat, spending time with my wife was terrific too, and restarting my workout regimen felt great! I also had a truly amazing experience, followed by a stressful experience, and topped off by a wonderful evening, all this last Friday.
By Wednesday of last week, I had learned that my boss wanted me to fly with him down to Portland and back, in the Mooney that he and I are part owners in. He had his other plane being worked on at PDX, and was planning on bringing it back, and I'd return in the Mooney solo. He was also wanting me to go golfing in a company golf tournament, which was to last from 1230pm to 630pm, then return to Seattle. Right off the bat I let him know that I had a prior commitment in Seattle that night at 630pm, where Carolyn and I had scheduled 6 weeks in advance to have long-over-due dinner with friends. He quickly understood that my commitment was also backed by the fact that my wife was pregnant, and that there was no game playing here.
He did however convince me to play 9 holes and take off, and he would stay for the full 18, then head back to PDX to fly his plane home.
Urban dictionary defines Blivid as: "Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag."
Well, most of the day was truly surreal!! I was the Pilot in Command from Seattle to PDX, where we had some business meetings at the airport, and my boss checked on his plane. That's where a wrench got thrown into the system, his plane was not going to be ready Friday, or even Saturday - where he was considering spending the night to bring it back. This now meant, he would be heading back with me early to meet my commitment.
We took off from PDX to Aurora State Airport, where the golf tournament was right next to the airfield. Most of the organization was attempting to sell business to my boss, so when people found out I had a commitment to leave very early in the tournament, I quickly found out I was not very popular. On top of that, the tee off did not begin on-time at 1230 as planned, but rather at 120pm. I had already discussed with my boss that we had to be wheels up by 330 or 4pm at the latest, or I would be late for walking in my door back home by 5pm, to turnaround and leave for dinner. Whew...!
I had him fully enrolled in that by about 345pm, and the other vendors were still wanting him to be introduced to this guy, run over to the 17th hole at a booth to get this favor or that favor, we were both convinced to get 5 minute massages, and a few snacks for the road. Now don't get me wrong, I have been looking at all of this as a blessing from God that I was invited to this, and was now enjoying all of this, annnnnd, the STRESS was starting to boil up in me. After all this was said and done, we rushed to the car, threw in the golf clubs, and hustled over to the airstrip. Piled everything in the plane, didn't even jump out of our golf shoes, and took off by 430pm. We did have a nice tail wind where the trip only took 50 min to get back, whereas it took us about 75 min of flight time earlier that morning. But this flight was not as enjoyable.
My boss agreed that he would put the plane in the hangar and get it fueled up, to let me get right on the road heading for home, as he was just as afraid my wife would skin us both alive. We landed at 520pm, and after taxi and cargo transfer it was 540pm. I dodged multiple traffic infractions, and made it to home by 550pm, 50min late. My wife was not happy, but was not angry. For some damn reason, I was angry!! Only at myself, but I was spreading it everywhere! I changed in a jif, and we got on the road, only to check traffic that it was going to take 45min-1 hr to get there. It took the full hour... By this time, my wife was definitely mad at me, and I had set us up for a not so happy evening.
We had some clears, and once we arrived at our friends 1/2 hr late, all was well, and we all actually joked about it. This was a big realization for me however, and I don't believe I would have taken a second look at it, had I not taken on a Self-honoring goal. This is me. This is how I have been showing up, and it's not serving me, it's not serving those around me, and it usually just spills from one scenario to the next.
So, I did get some wonderful Self-honoring time that day, and due to some choices, and not putting my foot down (blogging on the word "NO" soon), it cost me a lot.
I am now committing to change this sort of behavior, and by having my commitments be upheld and mean something, I will have less chaos in my life, and that is very Self-honoring to me!
Total time to date: 25.26 hours
By Wednesday of last week, I had learned that my boss wanted me to fly with him down to Portland and back, in the Mooney that he and I are part owners in. He had his other plane being worked on at PDX, and was planning on bringing it back, and I'd return in the Mooney solo. He was also wanting me to go golfing in a company golf tournament, which was to last from 1230pm to 630pm, then return to Seattle. Right off the bat I let him know that I had a prior commitment in Seattle that night at 630pm, where Carolyn and I had scheduled 6 weeks in advance to have long-over-due dinner with friends. He quickly understood that my commitment was also backed by the fact that my wife was pregnant, and that there was no game playing here.
He did however convince me to play 9 holes and take off, and he would stay for the full 18, then head back to PDX to fly his plane home.
Urban dictionary defines Blivid as: "Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag."
Well, most of the day was truly surreal!! I was the Pilot in Command from Seattle to PDX, where we had some business meetings at the airport, and my boss checked on his plane. That's where a wrench got thrown into the system, his plane was not going to be ready Friday, or even Saturday - where he was considering spending the night to bring it back. This now meant, he would be heading back with me early to meet my commitment.
We took off from PDX to Aurora State Airport, where the golf tournament was right next to the airfield. Most of the organization was attempting to sell business to my boss, so when people found out I had a commitment to leave very early in the tournament, I quickly found out I was not very popular. On top of that, the tee off did not begin on-time at 1230 as planned, but rather at 120pm. I had already discussed with my boss that we had to be wheels up by 330 or 4pm at the latest, or I would be late for walking in my door back home by 5pm, to turnaround and leave for dinner. Whew...!
I had him fully enrolled in that by about 345pm, and the other vendors were still wanting him to be introduced to this guy, run over to the 17th hole at a booth to get this favor or that favor, we were both convinced to get 5 minute massages, and a few snacks for the road. Now don't get me wrong, I have been looking at all of this as a blessing from God that I was invited to this, and was now enjoying all of this, annnnnd, the STRESS was starting to boil up in me. After all this was said and done, we rushed to the car, threw in the golf clubs, and hustled over to the airstrip. Piled everything in the plane, didn't even jump out of our golf shoes, and took off by 430pm. We did have a nice tail wind where the trip only took 50 min to get back, whereas it took us about 75 min of flight time earlier that morning. But this flight was not as enjoyable.
My boss agreed that he would put the plane in the hangar and get it fueled up, to let me get right on the road heading for home, as he was just as afraid my wife would skin us both alive. We landed at 520pm, and after taxi and cargo transfer it was 540pm. I dodged multiple traffic infractions, and made it to home by 550pm, 50min late. My wife was not happy, but was not angry. For some damn reason, I was angry!! Only at myself, but I was spreading it everywhere! I changed in a jif, and we got on the road, only to check traffic that it was going to take 45min-1 hr to get there. It took the full hour... By this time, my wife was definitely mad at me, and I had set us up for a not so happy evening.
We had some clears, and once we arrived at our friends 1/2 hr late, all was well, and we all actually joked about it. This was a big realization for me however, and I don't believe I would have taken a second look at it, had I not taken on a Self-honoring goal. This is me. This is how I have been showing up, and it's not serving me, it's not serving those around me, and it usually just spills from one scenario to the next.
So, I did get some wonderful Self-honoring time that day, and due to some choices, and not putting my foot down (blogging on the word "NO" soon), it cost me a lot.
I am now committing to change this sort of behavior, and by having my commitments be upheld and mean something, I will have less chaos in my life, and that is very Self-honoring to me!
Total time to date: 25.26 hours
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