Surrender = Self-Honoring

If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself.  But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me. - Matthew 10:39

The realization I have had this week, is one that has puzzled me for so long.  "How do I 'Self-honor' when this life is not about me, it's about others"?  Today's blog is how I came to a great understanding on just that.

This week at our Church, the message seemed to be directed only at me.  Have you ever been there?  Well the message was referencing the story of Abraham going to the Region of Moriah, to sacrifice his son Isaac, in Genesis 22:1-5.  The passage starts out stating that God "tested" Abraham.  God had made many promises to Abraham, and now he was testing him, to then fulfill those promises.  The passage then describes God telling Abraham to take his son to the "Region" of Moriah.  God never lays out the exact road, nor the exact destination for you to follow and arrive at, even when he knows the answer.  God then told Abraham to sacrifice something that was very dear to him, his only son, on a mountain - and Abraham told the servants that were with him "We are going up the mountain to 'worship', then we will return to you".

Our Pastor did an amazing job of laying all this out to look at, I am simply writing all of my realizations on it, and the impacts it is having on my life.  I have, as many of us have, been tested in my life.  And it's when I am tested, my first reaction is to "take control".  I see the test as something "I" am going through, and God wants to see how "I" can get through it.  All the while I totally miss that he wants me to rely on Him, to trust Him, and that requires Total Surrender.

In recent months, I have felt very tested, and continued to search for what God's plan is, so "I can follow it".  As is stated in this passage, God told Abraham to go to the "Region" of Moriah.  It turns out this is a very large "Region", and there are actually 7 mountains there!  Abraham, in obedience, began walking toward that "Region" the very next morning.  I will typically investigate all of what that could mean, so that I know which road in that direction, which mountain for sure, and what the travels will be like.

What hit me hardest though, was when Abraham told his servants that they were going atop the mountain to "Worship", and would return to them.  Why on earth would Abraham choose those words?  Why is this ultimate sacrifice a form of "Worship"?  I believe, it can only be for one reason: that no matter the outcome, Abraham completely trusted, and was totally surrendered to God.  He knew that God would provide, and later in the story he did by having a Ram show up and get stuck in a thicket to be sacrificed instead.  Our Pastor reminded us that this was a true early symbol that God would not ask what many other religions were asking, for human sacrifice especially of ones own child, and then prove his ultimate love and sacrifice by doing just that, by sending Jesus - his only son.

So why am I describing all of this, and what does it have to do with Self-honoring?  Everything!!  This journey of Self-honoring is teaching me that Self-honoring is not "selfish", in fact, it's the exact opposite.  I mentioned Matthew 10:39 to begin this blog, pointing out that it is NOT about Me, and, it is about God and me!  The realization is that Self-honoring is Surrender!  It is a lifestyle!!  It is about choosing to whole heartedly trust in God, and he will provide, and stressing, over-committing, over working to create more (even if you plan to do great things with the "more") is all selfish, and all about being in control.

I recognize now that God wants me to Surrender to Him, trust Him, follow Him, which is to Worship Him!  I had so many misconceptions and programs about what all those terms meant, until this week.

I always just took faith at a faith level, "just accept it".  I never took the time to understand why I have faith.  I know now that God wants me to Self-honor, and trust him, to know that I understand an ultimate test is when you give up what you believe is most important - and I was believing that creating abundance of money, to do great things is not what is MOST important, trusting Him regardless IS.

I could not possibly see how running 5 projects as a Project Manager, starting a new company, running another company, joining the board of an NPO, and devoting time to my wife, as well as preparing to bring a child into the world in a few weeks, could make any sense to choose into a "Self-honoring" goal.  Now I Totally can!!

Total to-date: 35.09 hrs